"I DON'T WANT TO GROW ANYMORE!!!!!"

Actually, that line happened in the original "Amazing Colossal Man" movie. But I've always loved it and I love this figure from X-Plus, too..

Growing up in Massachusetts, many of us here spent our Saturday afternoons watching "Creature Double Feature", a matinee of back to back classic monster movies. I'm sure each of us has our own fond memories of specific movies, but two films really stuck in my mind. "The Amazing Colossal Man" from 1957 and it's sequel "War of the Colossal Beast" from the following year had a strange hold on me as a kid. It was easy to dismiss many of the other films as pure fantasy, and while I never believed a man could grow to such enormous size, it was the characters mental breakdown as he tried to deal with his unfortunate circumstance that I found chilling. A deterioration of the mind is far more frightening than the growth of the flesh.

Of course, in this day and age, it's harder to take the films seriously since the special effects are laughable in comparison to what we see now. But back then it must have been remarkable, considering that director Bert I. Gordon seems to have made himself a career consisting largely of films about normal creatures grown to tremendous size.

This figure is the last of the "AMC Monsterfest" line from X-Plus that I managed to snag. For some reason, I hesitated on buying it when it first came out and for awhile I didn't see one. But due to the magic of Ebay, I finally got one a couple months backs, and for less than retail, too.

The figure is pretty well done, in my opinion. I think it was a great decision to have him holding the bus above his head. A colossal man is only colossal if you've got something to show scale, after all.

There's been some dissatisfaction with the sculpt of the face, but I think it looks fine. I do think it looks better when viewed from a low angle, but it's not bad overall either.

The base is a great addition, just like it was with the previous entries, The She Creature and Marty, the 3 Eyed Mutant.

But do you notice anything? How about that ad line? "See a sixty foot giant destroyed.....IN COLOR!" Did you see any color in the trailer above? I sure didn't. The fact is, only the ending (which is given away in the tag-line, of course) is in color. Less than 1 minute. Ahhh, I'd say I miss the 1950's and it's cheap marketing gimmicks, except of course, I never lived it. I'm forced to live it vicariously through these toys. On the bright side, kids in 1958 didn't have Colossal Man toys so I guess I can't complain, can I?

When your desire is for old monster and sci-fi merchandise, but your loyalty is to robots, what do you do? WHAT....DO....YOU....DO????

You buy a big old GORT, that's what you do!

I came here to give you these facts. This resin statue of Gort, the alien robot from the sci-fi classic "The Day The Earth Stood Still" was produced in limited quantities by Rocket Pro in 2006. Only 1951 specimens were made, to commemorate the 1951 release of the famous movie.

In the movie, Gort is a mighty robot who stands guard over the flying saucer that the main character, Klaatu, piloted to Earth. According to Klaatu, even though he's somewhat simplistic looking (particularly in comparison to the robots often seen on this site!), Gort had the power to destroy the entire Earth. After being injured, Klaatu instructs Helen to say to Gort "Klaatu Barada Nikto" so that the robot does not do just that. This simple phrase has gone on to be one of the most famous movie quotes ever. It was used by the character "Panhandle" in the first episdoe of the US version of Grendizer when he thinks he's seen a UFO and also by Ash in the movie "Army of Darkness" when he needs to get the Necronomicon from the graveyard. I'm sure there's been plenty others, but those two examples come to mind for me.

This statue is one of the best options out there if you are looking for a 3D representation of the character. Rocket Pro also produced a tin walker and a small diecast, but this statue checks in at an impressive 16". And even though it's just a statue, honestly, there really isn't much reason to need a Gort that can be posed. He barely moves in the movie. Of course, it would be awesome to have one whose visor opens and lights up like in the clip below!

The only other drawback is the material used. I'm not a big fan of resin. I'd much prefer a smoother material that I don't have to worry about breaking. This comes packaged in a two-part styrofoam tray enclosed in a full color box and a numbered certificate of authenticity.

I can't say that this is the greatest Gort that there ever could be, but it's a nice addition to my fledgling monster collection. A remake of "The Day The Earth Stood Still" is apparently in the works and due in theaters about a year from now. It'll be really interesting to see how they portray the character this time around. I suspect such a simple, almost innocent looking design will not fly with today's audiences.

Ouch...well...I suppose they qualify as "toys"...

Metalocalypse fans, you may want to avoid this review. Then again, if ya need a really good laugh...

Wow...what can I say? I write for CDX because, y'know, I like toys. This will be a first for me, though. A review of something that fills me with hate and loathing...

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Folks, I'm a hip hop head, through and through, but I have a few close friends who're devoted metal heads. When they first told me about the Adult Swim show, Metalocalypse, I knew I had to see this! I mean, I loved Spinal Tap (and, of course, the hip hop lampooning, Fear of a Black Hat). Something about subcultures busting on themselves that's just perfect--keeps folks from taking themselves too seriously. Anyway, this show was being done by actual metal fans, and as such, I had a feeling it would be good.

I wasn't disappointed!

The show is about the death metal band, Dethklok (yes, that's right! just based on the name, it's already good!). The band, a mix of US and Scandinavian musicians, happens to be the most popular band in the world, and in fact, the band has so many adherents, that it actually represents the single largest economy in the world! People are literally willing to die for the band. The story simultaneously follows a shadowy organization of extremely powerful individuals who run the government, military, media, and such behind the scenes. This organization is closely watching the band's activities because religious predictions have it that the band will continue to rise in power and eventually bring about the Metal Apocalypse...the "Metalocalypse".

Sounds pretty damn cool, huh? While not the most original plot ever, it definitely has potential. Now, here's the best part: the band is composed of complete idiots! That's right! The meat of the individual episodes focuses on the moronic crap they get themselves into. For example, in one episode, the band decides to write a song based on translated texts from some ancient Finnish book of necronomancy...because, obviously, it's freakin' cool. Of course, when they play the song for the first time in an open concert before the Bay of Danzig, they end up inadvertently summoning a lake troll that decimates the countryside. Classic!

Anyway, if you ARE a metal head or have metal fans in your life, you really need to see this show!

Okay...so obviously I dig the show. This past summer, Shocker Toys made the announcement that they had acquired the license to produce toys from the cartoon. I was freakin' psyched! Apparently, they had them at SDCC07, where Mason and I were...but on the--*ahem*--urging of concerned loved ones, we steered clear of them. Finally, Josh was able to procure the first wave of their figures to give to me for review.

And that's where everything went horribly, horribly wrong.

goh!

Horrendous.

Now, the first thing Josh said to me when he first gave them to me (before I had a chance to unpack them and take a look at them for myself), was that they looked like they had been painted by retarded, left-handed monkeys. I naturally looked at him a bit sideways (being left-handed), but then he assured me that he meant retarded, left-handed monkeys...forced to paint righty.

You know? I think he was right.

I mean, Josh stated clearly and in no uncertain terms that these were the worst licensed toys he had ever seen. He wanted them out of his house immediately. And now, here they are...in my possession.

Anyway, I'm sorta at a loss. You see, I'm used to covering toys I like. Well, let's see what we can come up with... First of all, Wave 1 consists of Nathan Explosion and William Murderface Murderface Murderface, the lead singer and bassist of Dethklok. These are billed as "action figures" on Shocker's website. I simply refuse to categorize them as such on this website. Each "action figure" is a single, static, poorly molded lump of resin. There's NO action here, folks...besides Josh throwing them at me during lunch that day...

So, let's talk about the sculpt. Now, c'mon, people. This is a cartoon--the characters are pretty basic-looking. Would it have killed ya to sculpt the figures to, y'know, at least sorta look like 'em!? Murderface isn't too terrible, but Nathan is just...off. And the detail of the sculpts are just poor--though I don't know if that's a problem with the sculpt or with the actual molding process. None of the surface details are sharp at all. Everything looks smooth, rounded...and sorta doughy. No good.

The worst part is when you really start to take a close look (which this reviewer does NOT recommend). Not only is there little definition at all in the molding, but there are mold flaws everywhere. Gobs of extra material clumsily left in armits or hairlines. It's truly awful. I can see more love going into a small child's very first sculpture in elementary school art class. And more talent, too.

Oh, here's the single worst part. If you notice in the image above, I have the figure of Nathan standing on a CD case...at an angle. Well, guess what. The figure cannot stand on its own. Again, I can't be sure if this is a flaw with the sculpt or the molding process (or with this particular piece...or ALL the Nathan figures). The feet appear fine on the figure--they're just angled too far down at the ankles, causing the figure to fall backwards. To take these photographs, I had to prop up the back side of the CD case with some coins. Way to go, Shocker. Your "action figure" can't even stand.

*sigh*

Let's move on. Next, we have the aforementioned monkey-painting.

Seriously, the paint achieves new kinds of low. The paint scheme selected here is supposed to depict the characters' concert make-up (seen at the end of the opening theme song), which is obviously meant to make them appear dead--their skin pallid and necrotized. The painters have succeeded in pulling off a look more akin to poop smears on their face. I mean, really...what the hell were these guys thinking? Wasn't there someone at some point along the design process who said, "Hey, waitaminute guys--I think we may be f#@king this up"?

Again, if you look at the details (which I must reiterate that I **DON'T** recommend!), you can see how the borders of colors run sloppily into each other, complementing the lack of definition in the sculpt with a miserable lack of care and neatness.

And just imagine: all this bootleg-level quality can be yours for the low, low price of $20 a whack.

All right, seriously, I don't think I can go much further with this review. I'm starting to make myself angry again. Anyway, y'all get the point about these figures. Lemme at least leave you with something postitive about Metalocalypse:

***UPDATE***UPDATE***UPDATE***UPDATE***UPDATE***UPDATE***UPDATE***UPDATE***

Dateline: 31 January 2008

Well, here's a...*ahem*...shocker!

CDX has recently been contacted by Geoff Beckett, President of Shocker Toys, wishing to enlighten us as to the nature of these items. Much like on the boards erechoveraker linked below in the comments, Beckett tells us that "they are promotional samples for San Diego Comic Con limited to 500pcs each hand painted in 20days and manufactured in 20 days before the show. Some of them were spot on and some were not but again they were hand painted samples made in 20 days for the fact that there was no adult swim presence at SDCC and [Shocker] wanted to make something the fans could walk away with." He goes on to say that "they are resin samples as well not toys not meant to be toys or played with as such" and that they have yet to receive a single complaint from anyone who bought them in person at the show.

Beckett had earlier stated that the set reviewed here comprises "a 1,000pc resin statue made for san diego comic con". So...500? 1000? Either way, it seems apparent that a true Wave 1 is under development at Shocker that will ostensibly not suck. Beckett emphasizes that the set above "has no collectablity nor is playable" and that this article "is misrepresenting the line as [Shocker] tried to do the fans a solid and get something they could grab at SDCC for promotional purposes."

Okay, grammar notwithstanding, I think we get the point.

Whether or not this helps fans sleep better at night, all we know is that when these items were provided to Josh, they were given as "figures" with no contextual data to the otherwise. At the time of the original publication of this article (21 December 2007), Shocker's own website listed them as "figures", and made no mention of any distinction between these and their actual Wave 1 figures supposedly in development. Incidentally, the page has now been updated to reflect the use of the new language (i.e., "exclusives")...and yet right under the "Metalocalypse Wave 1: 5.5" action figures!" heading, unpainted versions of the resin statues above are still shown with no images of any other figures or characters.

At any rate, while I haven't changed the content of the review above, I changed the title to reflect the true nature of these statues.

So...is this a case of Shocker Toys furiously back-pedaling and changing their tune in the face of outraged fans, or is it simply a case of miscommunication...horrendous, horrendous miscommuncation...? Honestly, I'm not particularly interested in exploring the answer to that question. All I know is this: I'm a Metalocalypse fan. I'm a toy fan. I would like some good toys of Dethklok.

For better or for worse, Shocker Toys has promised superior Metalocalypse product in the future. That, alone, makes me hopeful and I will look forward to telling it like it is when they finally come out. Stay tuned!

Kotobukiya brings this phenomenal kit of Ralph McQuarrie's concept of the Luke vs Vader duel. Not only is this a concept design brought to life, but it is a re-creation of an actual painting used to pitch the movie.

The look and feel of the Star Wars saga can largely be attributed to the work of one man - Concept artist Ralph McQuarrie. Ralph worked closely with George Lucas to create the look and feel of the Star Wars universe. It was his paintings that helped sell the Star Wars saga to the movie studios, and without his work the Star Wars universe would look very different indeed.

As with any design process, the appearance of the Star Wars characters changed many times before the final design was settled on. Star Wars fans have been drooling over these designs for years, wondering what could have been...

Now, as most characters have been done to death in toy form, manufacturers are looking back into these concept designs as a source for new merchandise. Ralph McQuarrie's designs are now about to be seen in a whole new light.

Kotobukiya brings this phenomenal kit of Ralph McQuarrie's concept of the Luke vs Vader duel. Not only is this a concept design brought to life, but it is a re-creation of an actual painting used to pitch the movie.

The "kit" really isn't much of a kit at all. It's more like a statue that you have to assemble. All of the parts are cast in vinyl and pre-painted, only the most basic of assembly is needed. For example, with Vader, you only attach the arms, head, lower legs and cape. Once assembled, the statue is sturdy and there is really no trace that this was ever a kit.

Vader and Luke come packaged in a mammoth box, with product art on one side and Ralph McQuarrie's concept art on the other. Inside the box is a giant plastic tray, with parts secured with twist ties.

The figures are 1/7 scale, and each comes with its own base. Kotobukiya's motto is "Craftsmanship" and it shows. The sculpt, fit and finish are spot-on. I did find a small defect though - there is a rub on the paint on one of Vader's feet. It looks like it occurred in packaging.

The Vader figure is enormous. looking at the figure, it is clear Ralph McQuarrie had a strong idea of what Vader was going to look like. This concept design is very similar to the design seen in the film. Darth Vader's helmet is a bit more angular, and the armor is a bit different. Vader is also seen with a pistol at his side in addition to his blue lightsaber (as opposed to red in the films).

Luke however looks more like the space smuggler Han Solo than the farm boy from Tatooine. His breather mask and goggles cover a determined face, much different than the young Luke who dreamed of joining the academy.

Luke features a clear visor and a gas mask. You can pull the mask down to reveal his face, but you cannot remove it. The mask connects to a well-weathered unit on his back. Luke's weaponry consists of a blaster at his side and a yellow lightsaber.

Each figure comes with a display stand, but only Vader's stand has pegs to secure the figure. The 2 stands line up, but there are no clips to lock them together.

At almost $200, this isn't cheap, but you get what you pay for. This makes for one impressive display piece and would be at home in any Star Wars collectors home. And hey, It's from Japan, so technically it is a Japanese toy also!

This is a limited edition set. It's not so limited that you can't get your hands on one, but just enough that it is something special. The McQuarrie Luke vs. Vader set is limited to 1977 units in Japan, 3030 in North America, and the remainder of the 7097 in Europe and Asia.

The first major release from Far East Monsters, Ltd. and the first in an exciting new light-n-sound statue series from the 1968 film, Destroy All Monsters...it's Godzilla!!

Okay, whipped up into a righteous Godzilla frenzy? Perfect!

Folks, it's my pleasure to bring you some exciting news for all the Godzilla fans out there! Yes, there's new product out there to sate your kaiju lust...and it's not the same old thing. But before I get too ahead of myself, I want to talk about Far East Monsters, Ltd. This hot new kaiju collectibles company is based in Cleveland, OH. That's right: in the US...not Japan. How big is this news?

Well, let's see. Bandai America seems to be releasing new Godzilla figures right now. That's cool...but they're not even mentioned on their website. Who knows how long BA will support these toys. And as for the toys, themselves, does the market really need more small-scale $10 Godzilla figures? And what does the near future have in store for the fantastically bloated "vinyl scene"? Will Marusan, M1, and Marmit continue to release quality vintage-style kaiju toys when the bottom falls out of the designer toy market?

I certainly hope so. But with no new Godzilla films planned for production, these may prove trying times for the Godzilla nut! But that's where Bill Kerner and Tom Tvrdik of Far East Monsters step in! With seemingly no regard to the state of the "market", these intrepid designers are presenting us with their vision of what fun, high-quality kaiju collectibles are possible!

I first learned of these guys spending valuable hours at work searching for Godzilla stuff on eBay(!). I ran across their Mecha King Ghidorah floor puzzle. Click that link...I'll wait. Yes, it's a ginormous Mecha King Ghidorah puzzle...complete with the future jerks' flying saucer/time machine. Are you kidding me!? Who has the hutzpah make a product like this??? Like I said, these guys are bold!

I went on to learn more about this company...and fate (and Josh) put me in touch with the man, himself: Bill Kerner. Bill and Tom met at a company they worked for designing Godzilla-related merchandise. When the company decided they didn't want to pursue the license anymore, they got the idea to start their own company and pool their passion for radioactive lizards (not to mention their 20+ combined years of product development, design, and production experience!). They put together their pitch to Toho...and the license was granted!

The first high-end item from Far East Monsters is this first entry into the "Destroy All Monsters Battlezone Series": Godzilla! As the name implies, this is Soshingeki-Goji, Godzilla 1968 from Destroy All Monsters.

Brilliant box graphics!

The figure of Godzilla stands just about 5-1/2" from the "ground"...plus another almost 2" with the base. There's no articulation in this piece, but what you get is a stunning paint job with brilliantly rendered weathering. The dry-brushing used in the paint application adds the perfect contrast to pull out Tom's sculpt. Just check out the texture on the skin:

The detail paint apps on the head are pretty much flawless as well. Nothing to complain about here. Even the base is nicely done in a very natural looking scene--great for stomping 3-headed dragons! When taken as a whole, the look of the piece is beautifully faithful to the film that inspired its creation.

Okay, so I've talked about the quality of this Godzilla statue a bit. Words, of course, don't do it nearly as much justice as pictures. But there's much more to this item than a pretty paint job. First of all, Bill and Tom have set out to make unique collectibles--stuff we haven't seen before. This statue doesn't just look gorgeous...it comes to life! At the touch of a discreet button, a crystal-clear roar-n-stomp sound clip lifted directly from the movie cranks out of the base. And if that wasn't enough, a blue glow emits from inside his mouth and from the fins on his back! (the three required LR44 batteries are included, ya hobos!)

Again, a picture's worth a thousand words...but I'm thinking a little video couldn't hurt either! ;)

And if that wasn't enough, check out Far East's own YouTube promo vid of this item!

Lastly, as I mentioned before, this piece is part of a "Series". That's right: there will be more. A total of eight of these statues will be produced, comprising all eleven kaiju from the film. The bases of each statue will fit together to produce a complete diorama of the apocalyptic final battle in Destroy All Monsters! Yup, it's gonna be hot!

And the next monster in the series? None other than King Ghidorah! Watch for it in '08!

Finally, I would like to take a moment to mention something that goes beyond this passion for Japanese robots and monsters we all share. Bill and Tom obviously started Far East Monsters because of their love for this hobby...but they are also working to provide for Tom's son, Tommy, who is autistic. Among their goals is to raise awareness about this disorder that affects so many children. Please check out Tommy's Page for more information. Thanks!

Quite possibly the least intimidating name for a monster ever.....Marty.

Another entry in X-Plus' excellent, but sadly short-lived series of AMC Monsterfest toys, "Marty", the 3 Eyed Mutant hails from the 1956 Roger Corman film "The Day The World Ended".

I haven't seen this movie yet, but judging by the trailer, it looks like the monster looks better as represented by this figure than it really did in the movie. Much like the She Creature toy from this line, this is a really nicely detailed figure, which is more of a statue than a toy. It has no articulation and no gimmicks. The figure appears to be made of a very solid PVC with a beautiful base that I think is resin. It's very nicely done, but not as interesting as the She Creature one.

"Marty" (no, I have no idea why he's called this) comes in the same box as the others in the series, but is packaged in it's own unique plastic try and his name on the UPC code on the back. The box is nicely compact at 12" tall and 7" wide and has some nice artwork of various monsters on the back. Unfortunately, of these monsters, only Marty, The She-Creature and the Amazing Colossal Man were ever released.

Front

Back

The display base comes in three parts with the title of the film engraved on the front, and separate pieces for the film's tagline ("The screen's new high in NAKED SHRIEKING TERROR!") and the advertisement for "SUPER SCOPE".

The detail on this guy is fantastic and it makes a truly amazing display piece. I really like these figures and regret that it hasn't continued.

A sharp-looking movie-accurate rendition of Bumblebee from the upcoming Transformers Movie!

Unleashed Bumblebee is packaged showcase-style in a clear cylinder giving an impressive view of Bumblebee, standing on a crushed car with a smoking weapon. But if buyers are expecting a transforming figure, better read close. Only very, very small text announces, “product does not convert”.

Nevertheless, this nearly 10” tall figure is very detailed and looks impressive posing on the crushed vehicle. According to Hasbro, 3-D turnarounds from the movie were used to model this sculpture. The plastic used in the figure is somewhat flexible, so it will take a certain amount of handling without breaking.

A serial number appears on the crushed car base.

Transformers Movie Toys

A modest item from a great movie, Yamato's Uzumaki statue isn't quite all it could be.

Junji Ito's manga series "Uzumaki" began being published in 1998 and finished it's run the following year. However it was so popular it was quickly made into a motion picture in 2000. The story concerns a town that is cursed by spirals. People start seeing spirals, things start taking the shapes of spirals, PEOPLE start taking the shapes of spirals. It's an odd story, but one that had a tremendous impact on me when I saw the movie. Of all the Japanese horror movies to be released in the wake of The Ring, I've always thought that this one was far and away the best so it's somewhat bittersweet for me that it's been somewhat overlooked. It's bitter since I think the film deserves more attention, yet sweet since I'm glad it hasn't been remade.

There is not a whole lot of merchandise from this film (besides the typical movie items, the only other thing I can remember seeing was some Uzumaki headphones!), but a few years back I managed to grab this statue released by Yamato in 2000. It depicts the character of Sekino, a snobby high school girl who's hair becomes infected by spirals in the movie. (In the manga, both her and her rival, Kirie, have this happen, and actually engage in a hair fight!) At least, I'm assuming it's supposed to be Sekino since it was released the same year as the movie. The detail on the face honestly isn't very good and it's a bit hard to tell. The paint on the right eye is especially poor, on this specimen at least.

Furthermore, in the movie Sekino is a very extravagant character who craves attention and she's depicted here as rather unassuming.

The statue comes with a base featuring many spirals. A small metal peg can be inserted into this and into the bottom of the left foot to hold the statue in place.

From the bottom of the base to the highest point of the hair, this stands approximately 8.5" tall. The statue is sold in a box measuring approximately 6.25" wide by 10.5" tall by 4.25" deep, with a clear cellophane window on the front.

This isn't a great item by any means. But I'm such a big fan of the movie that I'm reallly glad to have it.

UZUMAKI TRAILER:

It's very cool, but definitely not a toy. It's more like a plastic statue. The detailing and sculpt of this is excellent, but it has absolutely no play value.

Believe it or not, this is actually a game piece for one of those Star Wars miniature games. There’s not a single point of articulation on it.

For my birthday, my wife took my kids out to buy me presents… They stumbled into a Newbury Comics store, and as soon as Nathan saw this AT-AT, he grabbed it and said “I want to buy THIS for Daddy!”

It’s very cool, but definitely not a toy. It’s more like a plastic statue. The detailing and sculpt of this is excellent, but it has absolutely no play value. Well, let me clarify – If you play miniature games, then the AT-AT is an important piece. The set comes with a terrain map and a bunch of cards… I really have no idea how the game is played at all. All I know is that this thing looks very cool.

Fans looking for an actual TOY of an AT-AT will be better off getting one of the Hasbro AT-AT reissues.

HYPNOTIZED! Reincarnated as a Monster from Hell! It can and did happen!

Released in 2004, the She Creature is an excellent display piece for monster fans. It stands 8" tall and is very accurate in it's portrayal of the monster. The detail is excellent. However, it doesn't do anything. There isn't any articulation at all. It's just a vinyl statue. It does come with a really cool resin base though. The front features the name of the character and on the back is a sign with the tagline from the movie. The circular base is split into two parts, with sand at the front and the waves against the shore in the back. It makes for a nice image of the creature emerging from the water.

There are tabs that insert into the monsters feet to keep her standing, but I found it extremely difficult to get them in. The toy comes in a cardboard box with a window on the front and is one of the AMC's Monsterfest line of toys. It's a piece that is a must have for serious monster fans, but with no play value and a $40 price tag, others will likely want to pass on it.