Destroy All Podcasts DX Episode 16 - Michael Bay's Transformers

This was a truly awful movie , I feel much dumber (and poorer) for watching this.Michael Bay managed to make a movie worse than Pearl Harbour.

I remember now why I don't listen to these podcasts...
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Clearly you two are not Transformers fans in general. You find the tiniest things to complain about, making absolutely certain to add F-bombs wherever possible to prove that you are better than this. Why'd ya even bother going to the film if you were gonna bash it like this!? (Now try to keep in mind, as I go through all this, I have never seen any Transformers on-screen beyond the all-CGI "Beast Wars" from 96-99.) I'm not saying that this was a great movie, but you guys drag it down way too hard...

• Why did Bumblebee go to the junkyard(?)? Probably so he could have some- shall I say- privacy when he set off his locater beacon for the other Autobots. Remember, BB is, at that time, an undercover scout trying to avoid being detected by the native population of the planet. Perhaps the junkyard was the closest he could get to isolating himself, and still get back without being noticed. That Sam saw and followed him was just bad luck for BB, that's all. (But you're right, the scene in the station with the smart-ass cop was poorly done, but was needed to show that this was just another case of "alien abduction" as far as everyone else was concerned and to discredit Sam in their eyes.)
• Why are the Cybertronians shot in close-ups all the time? Well, probably so that when they're in the heat of battle, you don't waste brain power over keeping track of where everything is at the same time that you, say, see Bonecrusher smash into Optimus at near 55mph.
• Why didn't Optimus change into vehicle mode to escape the Sector 7 guys? Probably because his upright form provides far greater mobillity in a situation like that than a 6-wheeled Peterbilt would. Doesn't make for much of a disguise if they know what he looks like in his disguised form, huh!? Now, yes, running with two humans on his shoulder like that was not portrayed accurately. (Surely such strides atop a 30'-tall robot would bounce them off or tear their shoulders out of their sockets.)
• Why take the AllSpark Cube to the middle of a city? Yeah, I agree- that was pretty dumb as far as logic goes. But what kind of battle would we have had on a dam if only, like, two of the Cybertronians could fly (Starscream & Megs specifically), and all the others were confined to either the inside or the top of Hoover Dam? Perhaps if they'd moved it into the canyon below? The desert? Hmm!? We already had a desert battle with Scorponok; we didn't need another one!
  Of course, trying to evac the Cube via helicopter is a good idea. But one of the things that this podcast doesn't take into account is the fact that the aerial reinforcements contained- yes- a "robot in disguise" among their ranks! In other words, there were no more F-22 pilots left to tell the guys on the ground (or anywhere else, for that matter) to abort the helicopter because Starscream was taking them out by the handfuls (regardless of how poorly the air battle was choreographed)! Duh!
  Now, the problem with taking the battle into the city, though, reveals a script error as well. Megs, Brawl, and Blackout are dumped in the middle of the Marianas Trench to prevent them from being used again or repaired by other Decepticons. Fair enough; I agree. But the SecDef's monolog at the end states that this entire situation must remain hidden from the public. Hah??? What!?
• You guys are way too casual regarding the AllSpark and what it can do. But that's the point: we (humans) don't know all that it can do! We only know that it is very powerful- can create life from simple metal and electronic devices, provides these inanimate objects with a Spark (a soul), and can destroy if used incorrectly. This thing is, for lack of a better word, a God, and it created the Cybertronian race! (Did you, like, miss Opitmus' opening monolog when he clearly stated that? You must've come in late to avoid the commercials...) You don't just destroy a God for no dammed reason! Now, I don't know (or remember?) why Optimus wanted to destroy the Cube by putting it in himself, or how it killed Megs. Bad writing? Maybe. But we're not supposed to know all these things- only the Cybertronians know; and whatever that reason is, that is why Megs and the Decepticons rose up against the Autobots to begin with! That's part of the mystery of the AllSpark! Even the Cybertronians themselves may not have known everything about it; if they had known everything, then why fight so hard and long over it?
  As to the AllSpark shrinking down to a 1' cube, again that is the power it has- it goes far beyond our understanding of physics (equally, even the understanding of the Cybertronians), and can change its mass because of this. It just happens to be small enough in its compacted form to- yes- fit under the arm of a human. That's something I'm willing to accept at face value. But what it also excludes (intentionally perhaps) is the existence of Primus- who, in the various shows, is the creator the Cybertronians- and puts the whole creationism argument behind a thin veil so that paranoid, controlling, right-wing religious fanatical groups don't protest the film like they do, say, the Harry Potter books.

I could go on and on and on, and I have my own problems with it (I thought "The Rock" & "Bad Boys(I)" were better), but I don't know how to shrink down this text enough, and I don't want to waste my time on it anymore. My point is, you two pick and nag and moan and bitch the entire time, and the only time you even chuckle is at your own half-hearted attempts to make yourselves look cool in the eyes of your peers. If I had had to do a [podcast] about this film, I would not have wasted one hour and fourteen minutes to do all that! I would have said "Wait until it comes out on DVD, and if you don't like science-fantasy-" which this certainly is- "make sure your all doped-up or wasted when you start it; it might make more sense to you that way." See how hard that was? And look--! I didn't even need a microphone!
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And you want to talk about depressing!? Either it was super-early in the morning when you did that little mini-rant after finishing the movie, or you were not in the right state of mind to begin with when you saw it, but you almost convinced me that the world was coming to an end. Jesus H!
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CollectionDX Staff

I agree with most of your points fellows, but yeah this was disappointing .... I'm more of a fan of Beast Wars, the more serious parts anyway (don't hate me). But yeah the stupidity of the movie is... mind numbing. D*mn and they killed Jazz - the black Autobot.. even though some would argue that robots have no skin color.

But I liked most of the Movie line toys,

But I liked most of the IDW Furman comics, not all the spotlights are gold... but they are pretty good but yeah Furman did drop the ball on his re-imagining.

Still the only reason I liked some of the characters is because of the Transformers.wikia profiles.

Oh yeah Micheal Bay is the American Uwe Bol ?

"From behind, From the back?!" Jeremiah - Code Geass
? Quite deficiency ?