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Destroy All Podcasts ST Episode 18 - The Dallas Connection

Hosts: Dylan, Jeremy

This is about lacrosse satellites, tasering a dude you are making out with, low rent Antonio Banderas, and girls with big guns and bigger implants. Ah, the simple joys of a crappy b-grade action movie.

Click [HERE] to learn about what IWAR is an "anagram" for.


Okay, this time I'm not sure if the American version or the foreign version is worse.

"Is my belt hot or what?"


I think I saw Bugs Bunny do that to Elmer Fudd once.

This girl may be a ridiculous bimbo, but I bet even she knows what an anagram is.

"Oh Wiillllbur, I have never felt so degraded in my entire life."

"Go Speed Racer goooooooo!"

I think Julie is overcompensating for something!

Low rent Mr. Miyagi is terrifying!

Low rent Rambo is just sad.

PATRICK DUFFY ATTACKS!

This is the entire reason to watch this movie.

I'm sure this was absolutely necessary to the plot and not exploitative at all.

Posted 4 May, 2009 - 04:35 by Destroy All Pod...

Comments

6 comments posted
Lacrosse is a spy satellite

Remarkably sophisticated for a crappy action movie. Shades of "Gymkata" and SDI?

RobotBastard's picture
Posted by RobotBastard on 4 May, 2009 - 14:21
Sophisticated?

Veeeeerrrryyyyy little about this movie is sophisticated. I mean, it literally has a guy die by hitting an exploding golf ball. I had no idea what a lacrosse satellite was, but I avoided the obvious Macross joke and went with one about watching the all lacrosse channel on TV.

Listen to the podcast. Listen to how the braindead idiot delivers the line about the lacrosse satellite. Just listen. Also listen when he says anagram when he means acronym. SOPHISTICATION!

-Jeremy

Destroy All Podcasts DX's picture
Posted by Destroy All Pod... on 4 May, 2009 - 18:22
Well, it's just the technical depth

I mean, you'd expect a movie like this to just say "Spy Satellite", or maaaaybe a "Keyhole Satellite". But I guess someone on the writing team was a bit of a space nerd.

Although they go straight back to Hollywood Science Land by acting as though you can tape a computer chip to the outside of a satellite and have it do anything at all.

RobotBastard's picture
Posted by RobotBastard on 5 May, 2009 - 10:34
Derrrr.

The "writing team" is the director under a pseudonym it turns out.

And speaking of Hollywood science, guy has chip in a necklace around his neck. Guy goes jetskiing. Jetski breaks down. Guy and girl are wet and make out. She tasers him WHILE ON TOP OF HIM, WHILE KISSING HIM, WITH THE CHIP BETWEEN THEIR BODIES.

A) How does she not get shocked?
B) How is the chip not destroyed?

-Jeremy

Destroy All Podcasts DX's picture
Posted by Destroy All Pod... on 5 May, 2009 - 13:07
Well...

A) Because she's the "heroine" therefore impervious to anything but a flesh wound.

B) Because if it was destroyed, there wouldn't be a big payoff, plot-wise. Yes, I know saying the word plot with this film in context is stupid but then again the director of the masterpiece probably thinks he is A GODDAMN F%&KING GENIUS!

I think RobotB might be right in this coming from the Gymkata school of thought, though.

Eeeper T Gozza's picture
Posted by Eeeper T Gozza on 9 May, 2009 - 04:33
A) No. She's a villain. She

A) No. She's a villain. She just tasered one of the good guys. She only changes sides at the very end. The heroine is the girl doing strength training with her giant fake breasts.

B) Oh don't worry... there's no big payoff.

Destroy All Podcasts DX's picture
Posted by Destroy All Pod... on 12 May, 2009 - 20:00
 
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